is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
