He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
