her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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