I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize