sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
