How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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