your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
