She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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