Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
