know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
