You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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