Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
