At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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