So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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