I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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