I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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