im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Who died my cat blue again?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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