I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
