the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize