i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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