I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
