I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize