I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
