The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Randomize
