Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
