Don't you send me to vm
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
