i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
