Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize