we have pet lesbian snakes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
