Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
