i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she smelled like a LAN party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
