I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
