the new term for farting is butt boxing.
zippers are such a cool invention
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
