I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
