Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
