at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
