oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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