But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
