How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
