I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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