You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
never play flip cup with pint glasses
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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