I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
