Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize