I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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