haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
