is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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