i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
