marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize