The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize