ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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