She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize