How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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