Can i not drive my cunt home
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
