I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is wine microwaveable?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
