somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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