GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
