Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
