he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
