Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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