I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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