how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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