Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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