somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize