My sheets look like a crime scene.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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