Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
